My name is Amber....and I'm a nerd!

First, if you haven't watched this video, you need to:

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I grew up in a tiny town where being different made life hellish.  I wish I would have had access to the internet and people like Wil Wheaton to show that being different was ok.  It took me a very long time to accept my nerdy tendencies.  I resisted the lure of technology and science-fiction until I was an adult because I didn't want to be a "nerd."  I didn't want people to look at me funny because I didn't like the same thing as the popular kids.   Now, I'm ok with who I am.  I still have days where I feel not good enough, but overall I like the things I like and I'm fine with that.

I'm passionate and obsessive, and damn proud to be a nerd.

Happy

Life is busy,  but I still feel like I need to be writing.  I don't have any exciting adventures to tell, but I am perfectly ok with that.  It seems bizarre, but I find it difficult to find things to write about and I think I finally understand why.

I am happy!

Ok, now that may not make much sense to some people, but a lot of my writing spawns from emotion, generally feeling sad or lonely, maybe even angry.  It's easy to be motivated by that and writing becomes a sort of therapy.  Right now, I don't feel like I need that so it's harder to find something to write about that doesn't seem like nonsensical rambling.  The realization hit me hard yesterday morning.  Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have the life that I do.  I have an incredible family and some amazing friends.  My son is the most remarkable child I have ever had the chance to encounter.  And Seth....well....how to even explain.  He makes my heart full and my life complete.  The other morning as I went to leave for work he rolled over and whispered I love you.  My heart...*sigh*  I can't even begin to explain how much joy those words bring to me.   To hear the unprompted emotion in his voice makes me weak in the knees. I know what life is like without him and I know that life is better for me when he is around.

So, overall, life is good.  For the first time in a very very long time I am confident.  I feel financially secure...not rich by any means but my bills can get paid and we still have money to have fun.  I am only a few classes short of completing my Bachelor's degree and have even managed to make Dean's list while working full time.  I have a few friends that I know have my back.  I have my amazing little family.  And I am HAPPY!

I love my son

I have to say that I absolutely love my son.  He is a punk at times with a smart attitude but he can also make me laugh like no one else. He is incredibly intelligent and sweet.  We were wrestling the other day and he noticed a scratch on my shin.  He promised me that he didn't do it, but then ran around to find me a glass of water to "make it better."  The cut was days old, but it was incredibly sweet.  He was so concerned.  My life is better because he's around.