Monday, July 25, 2011

Nightmares


It's almost 5am and I just woke up from one of the most fucked up nightmares I've ever had.
Key points: 
It kept changing between two totally different points of view, 1st person (me as the kid & me watching the kid).
Helping the man I'm with torture someone else in what appears to be a big walk in furnace w a fire in the middle. The room we're in seems to be a large semi-abandoned looking warehouse for some random brand of icecream. The icon on the icecream looks like the big boy logo.
I walk into the big furnace to help him push some unseen victim into a cage deep inside the furnace & off to the right. Both sides are lined with these cages. He walks toward the entrance of the furnace and I follow. As we go to walk past the fire in the center the camera changes and I watch as the man turns around and pushes me hard back into the fire. I can see the fear in my eyes.  And then I can see the pain as the flames touch my skin and start to burn. My shirt bursts into flames and I'm screaming. The embers from the bottom are embedding themselves into my back. I can't get out...all I can do is watch myself scream in pain.   
The man reaches for me, takes my hand, and pulls me out of the fire. The camera moves and I can see the charred black skin on my back. I know I need a hospital or I will die. I then am back to being the kid. The man asks me if I'm in much pain. I tell him I think I will be ok (wtf). He says "I saved you, thank you very much."   I actually thank him then for saving me. He is horrible and terrifying, and I thank him.  He then walks behind me to look at the damage.
He says "the skin is quite damaged thank you very much."  (My brain keeps thinking of the count in princess bride).  I tell him it only hurts a little. There is suddenly a searing pain in the center of my back and I scream again. He turns me around and shows me a latch hook as thick as one of my fingers. He says "there wasn't much pain, but the matching on in your back makes it so I am able to keep you here if you misbehave, thank you very much."  
I nod silently and walk away. Together him and I walk out to a van/ice cream truck. I get into the seat and have to sit clear forward to avoid the pain of the burns and torn flesh. He is driving and I am giving completely half hearted & random directions. We somehow end up at one of the icecream parlors from the warehouse. He asks me "you think it was a good idea to bring me to one of my own shops?"  I see an amused spark in his eye. I want to scream but somehow know better. He parks the van behind the store and walks around it. He opens my door & grabs me by my hair to pull me out of the van. He uses my hair & latch hook to drag me into the back of the store and through a trap door. Here, next to the walk in freezer is a giant tool box. He throws me into a corner where I hit a wall hard and am somewhat dazed.
The camera changes again and I'm watching the events happening. He grabbs a handful of latch hooks out of the tool box and then approaches me. He pushes me completely to the floor (laying on my belly) and sits on me. He uses a blade to cut holes in my skin (which are still to small) and shoves about a dozen latches into my back from neck to tail bone. There is so much pain and so much blood. At first I scream & beg & cry. Eventually I stop fighting and am just laying there. I thought I had died. He finishes his work and stands up to admire it. He then pulls me off of the floor and sits me up on a table. The camera moves again behind me so I can see the mangled flesh that used to be my back, then I'm me again. I can feel his breath on my skin & smell the sweat. He's pressed up against me hard. He's hard. He leans close and whispers in my ear. "The pain is temporary thank you very much. I had to be sure I could contain you in a moments notice thank you very much". He smiles at me. He hugs me. I want to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. I'd rather be dead right now. He takes my hand lovingly and stands me up. He walks me towards the walk in freezer. As he opens the door I can see destroyed bodies of others hung along the walls...and in the very back is my throne. A huge chair practically covered with chains & blades. One set of the chains run down the back of the chair & would fit perfectly through the hooks in my back. I can see what he has planned, and as he walks into the freezer, I pull my hand away suddenly and slam the freezer door shut behind him. I hear him scream in rage as I sprint as hard as I can up the stairs and start to fumble with the trap door. I finally find the latch and as I open the door to escape I woke up.
So now I'm laying in bed with a light on and a (happy) movie playing in the background. I know I need to get up and get ready for work but I am so tired. I just want to sleep but don't know if I can do that either. Fuck this day already.