Each year in the past I have made the trip home to spend Christmas with my family. This year that just wasn't really an option. So while I would normally be surrounded by noisy giggling family members, today was instead spent at home with my little family. We didn't do much of anything... Sat around watching movies and playing video games. For the first time ever I made home made egg noodles and made beef and noodles. Earlier this weekend I went all out and made an entire turkey feast. It has been my goal to make things seem like a real holiday. I enjoy taking care of my family, but it hasn't been easy. It's hard to not be with my family when it is what I am so used to. There is comfort in that place despite it not being a happy place all the time. It's hard to explain it and probably makes me sound crazy. I love my life but it still feels like something is missing to not be celebrating the holidays with my sisters or my mom. Tonight we took Orion to see the Christmas lights down town and he was so excited that it definitely helped lift my spirits a bit. The amount of joy that he brings just makes the world a brighter place. I hope that enthusiasm for life never fades from him. We drove until he fell asleep and now I sit at home in the blue glow of my tree, listening on as Seth shares random music with his younger sister. Life isn't always what I expect it to be, but I try to make it the very best I can.
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