Cold Blustery December

I haven't written in a few days because I wasn't sure what to say. Some days the words come easily and naturally, and others they feel completely forced. Lately it has all seemed forced. I don't know if I'm coming or going, and my temper has often gotten the best of me because of it. The family Christmas is coming which brings up a whole lot of issues for me, both family, spiritually, and personally. It brings up old memories, both good and bad. Sometimes it tears open an old scar that I thought was completely healed. Other times it will lay to rest something I thought would still hurt. I don't know if it makes any sense at all, but that seems to be a recurrent pattern with me as of late. Oh well. I suppose I should probably leave it at that until I can get my thoughts together. Just thought I'd say that I am still here and alive...just looking for my muse.