The last 6 weeks

In the last 6 weeks, I have apparently been very busy.  

I got to go to a launch party for the newest HuHot in town. 

I got to play dress up at Charming Charlie with Orion. 

I got to go to Rock Fest with Jaime!

And giggle with my son

I do NOT have arms like a t-rex....damnit!

However, I have apparently mastered the art of jacked up faces.  *sigh* 

Prayer for Oklahoma

My heart goes out to those in Oklahoma who have been affected by the tornados that have wrecked havoc on the region. I know that many lives were lost and much property was damaged. I hope that you all know that we are all keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.  

May those that have been displaced find new homes and jobs to make the recovery easier. May the friends that have been lost be never forgotten.  May new friendships be built to help fill the voids left by those that were lost.  May you find comfort in the arms of someone who cares.  May you learn to love and support each other during this time of turmoil to help recover from this disaster, as those of us who care for you continue to surround you with love.  May you warm your heart, thoughts, and soul by once again finding your center.

My name is Amber....and I'm a nerd!

First, if you haven't watched this video, you need to:

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I grew up in a tiny town where being different made life hellish.  I wish I would have had access to the internet and people like Wil Wheaton to show that being different was ok.  It took me a very long time to accept my nerdy tendencies.  I resisted the lure of technology and science-fiction until I was an adult because I didn't want to be a "nerd."  I didn't want people to look at me funny because I didn't like the same thing as the popular kids.   Now, I'm ok with who I am.  I still have days where I feel not good enough, but overall I like the things I like and I'm fine with that.

I'm passionate and obsessive, and damn proud to be a nerd.

Happy

Life is busy,  but I still feel like I need to be writing.  I don't have any exciting adventures to tell, but I am perfectly ok with that.  It seems bizarre, but I find it difficult to find things to write about and I think I finally understand why.

I am happy!

Ok, now that may not make much sense to some people, but a lot of my writing spawns from emotion, generally feeling sad or lonely, maybe even angry.  It's easy to be motivated by that and writing becomes a sort of therapy.  Right now, I don't feel like I need that so it's harder to find something to write about that doesn't seem like nonsensical rambling.  The realization hit me hard yesterday morning.  Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have the life that I do.  I have an incredible family and some amazing friends.  My son is the most remarkable child I have ever had the chance to encounter.  And Seth....well....how to even explain.  He makes my heart full and my life complete.  The other morning as I went to leave for work he rolled over and whispered I love you.  My heart...*sigh*  I can't even begin to explain how much joy those words bring to me.   To hear the unprompted emotion in his voice makes me weak in the knees. I know what life is like without him and I know that life is better for me when he is around.

So, overall, life is good.  For the first time in a very very long time I am confident.  I feel financially secure...not rich by any means but my bills can get paid and we still have money to have fun.  I am only a few classes short of completing my Bachelor's degree and have even managed to make Dean's list while working full time.  I have a few friends that I know have my back.  I have my amazing little family.  And I am HAPPY!

I love my son

I have to say that I absolutely love my son.  He is a punk at times with a smart attitude but he can also make me laugh like no one else. He is incredibly intelligent and sweet.  We were wrestling the other day and he noticed a scratch on my shin.  He promised me that he didn't do it, but then ran around to find me a glass of water to "make it better."  The cut was days old, but it was incredibly sweet.  He was so concerned.  My life is better because he's around.

Web Hosting!

It's been a very exciting week for me.  I launched my first officially hosted website for an organization that I am thrilled to be a part of.  I designed, purchased, and published the website all on my own.  I made the announcement earlier this afternoon and now I'm waiting to see how the public reacts.  I'm incredibly excited.  I also launched twitter and facebook fan pages , as well as a Google+ Page with it to sync the information across as many social networking sites as possible.  So far today I have had over 70 page visits.  It may seem small scale, but I'm still quite proud of it.  Hopefully I can get some feedback and know what changes need to be made and what direction to take things in the future.

To the Stars Retreat

I honestly don't even know where to begin this post.  Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend the To the Stars retreat in Topeka, Kansas.  The people that were in attendance were absolutely fantastic.  I feel more at ease with myself than I have in a long time.  There was good food, great information, and so much love.  First and foremost I have to say thank you to the Ad Astra Grove, lead by Amanda Thomas for hosting this event. It was an honor to be able to attend and I am looking forward to seeing this event grow and prosper over the years.  I also want to thank both Drum and Michael Dangler, who were our travelling clergy to this even. It was fantastic to get to meet you both and the information that you shared with us is absolutely priceless.  Now, my personal experience.....

I started this weekend expecting some relaxation and socializing and ended up getting so much more.  I have to be honest here and state that I am generally not an incredibly social person.  I am very shy and tend to stutter and feel like a fool when I'm put on the spot.  I have somehow found myself in a leadership role and it's pushing those boundaries in an unexpected and very appreciated way.  I found myself socializing with almost 30 people, many of whom I had never met before.  I got to know other people in the region that I may not have known otherwise and had an amazing time.  The most surprising of all was the amount of love, appreciation, and compliments that I received from the people there.  I often feel like what I am doing isn't good enough or appreciated, often I feel like a burden.  I suddenly realize that what I am doing IS beneficial and good.  I went in expecting people to not have a clue who I was, and was instead approached by strangers and given compliments.  I was caught off guard in a great way. It made me feel really really good. 

The event itself was absolutely amazing.  The workshops that were presented taught me so much and allowed me to hear the experiences that others have had and share my own.  We learned how to build an effective prayer, and the different reasons we may pray or do devotionals.  This is something that I have struggled with for a very long time, so it was nice to get some ideas on how to to use prayer effectively.   

We then did a workshop on connecting with your ancestors and I know it was very beneficial for a lot of people.  Many people have tense family history, so getting information on how to connect with this Kindred.  It was very heartwarming to hear the stories from people and know that we all have individual struggles that we can get past. 

The third workshop was information on the basics of a ritual, the difference between private and public rituals, and important things to consider.  I've never been one that is incredibly comfortable with formal ritual, so I think this workshop was probably the most beneficial one for me.  It showed the importance of gestures and movement, as well as some historical thoughts on why things are done the way that the are.  

Overall, I had an amazing time.  I made some new friends, got to spend a lot of quality time laughing and sharing thoughts with amazing people, and spend a lot of time talking with Drum about life and our thoughts and ideas.  He impressed me so very much.  He has an amazing heart and warmth to him that means you can't help but want to be in is company.  I am very much looking forward to attending this and other events in the future, which is honestly something that I could not have said last week.  Who knows what other changes this event may bring?